Growing up I had the best birthdays on the street. No, I am serious: my birthday parties had scenarios and well thought out games and fun activities. Oh, you think I was that Type A person since the early age? Please! I was spoiled rotten from the very beginning, so the responsibility of kickass parties were on my mom’s todo list every year. I think, at some point, my grandma was the one helping me pick the right outfit. I am telling you: I had the whole team of highly skilled professionals in house and it was rather nice.
My usual birthday parties included guests (duh), a table filled with delicious home cooked food (by a masterful chef, aka my grandma), different generic games like ‘who can cut the gift from the string of gifts while wearing a blindfold’ (child safety 101: do not try to replicate in real life), and some more serious games like ‘can you draw Alisa without looking at her?’ Wow, my birthday parties were too much… #ThanksMom
The thing that bugged me the most about my amazing parties is that there was a lot of planning involved on our part, a lot of party favors for my guests, a ton of prepped food… All my guests had to do is to show up and ask their parents to pick up a gift. At the end of every party my family was exhausted, I was happy, my guests were waiting for the next one.
I believe around my 14th birthday we decided to stop with the whole party extravaganza and do something small just for us. It was a nice change for me and I think even a nicer one for my mom and grandma. My birthdays when I was in college were stressful: I always wanted to celebrate with people but since I had to organize everything, purchase and cook food, and pay for the entertainment - it was always a stressful day, followed by the next day where I counted up my expenses and slowly felt my hairs turning gray.
When I first came to the US and was introduced to the concept where on your birthday you are actually the one being attended to, I was thrilled. My first birthday in the States (I was turning 17) was not what I would have wanted but I enjoyed it nonetheless. You see, I was leaving the United States the next morning and was 99% sure I won’t ever be coming back (haha!). My high school friends were bringing me toys and cards, giving me sweets and telling me how awesome I am without me giving them anything in return. I didn’t have to cook for the whole school or share a birthday cake. It felt like I was celebrated. It felt like people were happy I was born that day and not just happy to have a three-course meal on me.
I think the idea of celebrating the person is so pure and so right. My last few years in Ukraine a lot of my friends understood and accepted this concept (hence, they were my friends). In the last three years I’ve been living here, I spent my birthdays by receiving love and care and not slaving away in the kitchen (ok- ok, ordering take out). I am still hinting at Andrew that I never had a surprise party thrown for me… He says that it is silly to ask for one and maybe he is right. I don’t know what ideal birthday looks like and I don’t think it exists. But as long as I am surrounded by the people I love it’s always gonna be a darn good day.
Go hug your mothers today instead of commenting ‘Happy Birthday’ on this post. You can always come back and do that later.
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