Feet and Shoes

Feet. No, I don't have any fetishes. But today I want to talk about the feet culture cause I am telling you - there is a lot to say. 

All the creeps out there - please leave now. I'm uncomfortable. ....But it is an all-inclusive culture after all and I can't discriminate and hate and blah blah blah so I guess you can stay. 'Merica.

So feet. Do you take your shoes off when you get home? Do you put your feet on the table while still wearing the shoes? Do you sit on your bed with your shoes on? If you are in my house and you are doing that - inside my head I am done with you. With a chair. On your head. And here is why: SHOES ARE DIRTY AND CARRY BACTERIAS AND NASTY AND EWWWWWWW don't. Don't. 

Inside Out

I am a pretty open person. I like people (mostly), don't ask me if I do after a 10 hour shift though. But I like to keep my life balanced and consider being a happy medium between a schizophrenic and Buddha. I thought I am pretty good at identifying my guts and feelings - but wow, America, you are giving me a run for my green card application money (it was not cheap, trust me). 

Sometimes it feels like upon birth Americans get insecurities (like the rest of the world), open-mindedness (weeeell, kind of), and opportunities (cause, American Dream! Duh). But there is something else: the ability to reach inside and grab the feeling of the moment by the guts, look at it, and perfectly describe it. People easily put into words even the simplest of feelings! Anger, joy, frustration...Even the feelings that don't really have a name - antsy feeling when someone is using a nail file next to you, or when you lock yourself out of your car - an American can write an epic novel about how that action makes him feel! Crazy, right? I'm kind of jealous. 

Tips on Being an Expat in the USA

I don't want to say "living in the USA was my dream" cause not only it makes me sound not so patriotic it also makes me sound kind of shallow. So I'll just say "I had a dream to try out living in the US and now I'm doing it!". Words, am I right? Making it sound fancy. 

But jokes aside - America is kinda cool. People are nice, the food makes you happy (and big), you can eat cuisines of the countries you've never heard of without even going there... You get denied a credit card twice, you have to wear glasses if you want to drive, you can't leave the country for quite a while at the beginning.. So in order to pass on the wisdom, here are tips on being an expat in the USA. 

1. Prepare to be challenged

The minute you land - take out your boxing gloves and put them on. You are on, world! You are so on. You will get knocked down A LOT. You will grow muscles and your butt (thanks, food). You will most likely get questioned by a few guards at the airport of your entry on stuff both appropriate and not so much (like, "no, don't go to Nashville, guys are dumb there"). Welcome to New York. 

2. Acquiring new skills will become a part of your daily routine. 

You will learn how to drive at 24. Stupidly will place "I love Ukraine" and "Ukrainian" bumper stickers on your newold car. Lately, you will realize, that those identifiers will make it so hard to run from the cops..(insert sad emojis and tears in your pumpkin spice latte). Just kidding. PSL? No way. Some things never change. 

3. You will stop noticing when people say THE Ukraine. 

Seriously. Just stop. 

4. Overtime, you will stop feeling special. 

Welcome aboard. You've made it, native :)