27 Things of The Year 2017

Last year I started a small tradition of writing down twenty-something things of the year. It was so eye-opening and so pure to me to see what this year brought, which experiences influenced me, and which stories I will bury in the backyard of my mind. Don’t throw away your Christmas tree just yet (in Ukraine, we put it up closer to New Years so having the tree up until the end of January is totally normal). With a tiny bit of a delay but a warm heart, I present to you 27 things - some small, some big, some life-changing - the year 2017. 

• I brought in the year surrounded by some calm and happy people, celebrating and hoping for the great 2017 ahead. For that night I was able to leave the fact that I had to work the next morning behind and truly enjoy myself by the fire. Good, good times. 
• Worked all through the New Year’s Day, trying to survive on the misery of the people around me and much-needed junk food from Popeyes. 
• Went a little ‘Gossip Girl’ and put together a game of Assassins for my staff. Brought in my Instax and took pictures of everyone, hung those on their necks...So. Much. Fun. 
• Packed Andrew and started off on a journey to Ukraine. For the first time in many years that we’ve known each other I finally showed Andrew where I grew up. 
• Watched Andrew teach my mom and my grandma what mimosas are and blew their minds a bit. 
• Got into Kombucha and am still questioning a lot of things about it (enjoying it in the meantime). Wouldn’t it be nice to get a special serum that keeps your insides up and running? WD40 for the body. 
• Let our guards down and let strangers into our house with the help of Airbnb. Crazy to think that we hosted over 400 people in less than a year. So many stories - so many experiences made. 
• Traveled to Asheville, NC and found a Champagne Bookstore where I want my remains to be scattered upon my death. I am planning on drinking champagne and reading books in the mountains in my afterlife. 
• Released a very dear-to-my-heart piece about a badass woman who is creating a magical change in my hometown. In case you missed it - you can read it here.
• Got my first ever DSLR camera and am still treating it like precious cargo. It’s so funny how you dream of getting something, finally get it, and are so terrified of doing anything ‘cause your long-time dreams that finally come true are scary. 
• Traveled to Toronto, Canada and realized how much I miss living in a big city. You are beautiful, Toronto. Just beautiful. 
• Took a day trip to see Niagara Falls! Big beautiful nature sometimes makes me think of how small and irrelevant everything in our lives is. Niagara Falls’ majestic presence left me thoughtless. 
• Cut most of my hair off without telling people about my intentions. Summer in the South was great with short hair. The look on Andrew’s face when he didn’t recognize me was even better. 
• Got my teeth professionally cleaned for the first time! I was so naive in my excitement - that thing is actually unpleasant. 
• Decided to bring in my 26th birthday by learning how to roller skate. Now I am a proud owner of a pair of gorgeous skates and very minimal knowledge on how to actually use them. 
• Lost over 35 pounds. 
• Showed my mom the city of her dreams - NYC. Also surprised her a couple of times by bringing in her former Peace Corps Volunteers. It was great. I like surprising people. 
• After 2.5 years of being legally married Andrew and I finally had a chance to introduce our families in person. There were no casualties. 
• Celebrated two years of wordly! It was lame. I’ll do better for year number three. 
• Left Nashville behind for a few days and had an unforgettable time with some of the best people I know in Miami, FL. We drank drinks, we sang songs, we sat on the beach, and talked about everything and anything. Memories that will be in my heart forever. 
• Had to say goodbye to one of my favorite jobs - being a manager at the Hostel. It was hard and still is. 
• Started working for a Tech Company and suddenly realized that I am now officially a ‘woman in tech.’ Kinda cool. My office is incredible and it bleeds ‘millennial.’ Clearly, I can’t get enough. 
• We took a leap and rescued a puppy. Or what is that cheesy thing everyone says? The puppy rescued us? It might be true. Godric Gryffindor (or Gryff for short) is the best furry friend a family could ask for (or he will be once his training is complete). 

• Attended the most badass wedding where a Chewbacca was playing a cello; where guests and newlyweds alike smiled the whole evening and not just for the pictures; where the reception room was decorated as a Great Hall. I have no idea why I wasn’t the one at the altar. 
• Did not go Trick or Treating but dressed up in one of the best costumes I’ve ever had. You know when you put something on and you are just feeling it? Feeling yourself? I guess a pair of tight mermaid leggings and a red colored wig is what my inner Alisa needs sometimes. 
• Participated in a Secret Santa that was held amongst Ukrainian Expats living in the USA. Funny thing: sometimes, even if you’ve never met the person you are sending a gift to, coming from the same country unites you to the point where you actually give and receive gifts you love. 
• Went on a limb and created the most hilarious Holiday Card we’ve ever done (of course, if I may say so myself). To be honest: not the best picture but the energy of the place, the energy of the human and the puppy around me makes this one one for the books.

How To Redesign a Blog in One Evening

@Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

Here we are! 2018 is happening full swing, people are already forgetting about their resolutions, and if you listen really hard you can hear the calmness of gym equipment not being used across the globe. 

Everyone thinks about the year that is ahead: some set goals, some say goodbyes to various things and people, and some just use an excuse to get drunk. All appropriate actions, if you ask me. I was never the one for resolutions, in fact, I don’t even think that’s a thing in Ukraine? What we do at midnight while the clock strikes 12 times is:

1. Write down a wish on a piece of paper 
2. Burn that piece of paper and dump all the ashes in a champagne flute 
3. Drink that champagne with the ashes inside in order for the wish to come true

Don’t ask. I’ve never done this and I don’t think I will be doing this in the future. But trust me: it is fun to watch. 

I started my year by thinking about the things I enjoy and love. Maintaining this blog is one of the things I love but am not that great at finding the time or inspiration. I am not promising anything but I am taking steps at being better. So, without further delays, I am happy to introduce to you the new chapter of my expat stream of consciousness. Welcome to alisakaiser.com 

Is it narcissistic? Probably. Is it honest? 100%. 

Back in the day of me working for Kyiv Post Andrew asked me about a project I would like to do in the future. What I told him was an idea that represented a mix of The Moth Podcast and Humans of New York. And I wanted to call it Wordly: a combination of the Word and World, an adjective. I remember Andrew saying that it might catch on. Just like tumblr even though the spelling don’t make sense. 

I moved to the US and realized that in order for me to collect people’s stories and make Wordly what it was originally planned to be - I would have to get some friends first and some interesting friends too. Not that easy to do when you are in a foreign country and are no longer a student. So, Wordly became what I needed it to be at the moment - an outlet for MY stories. 

When The Hello Series was created it was the closest thing to what I originally planned. I found all of the stories so fascinating and so unique that I just couldn’t keep them to myself - I needed everyone to see them. The Hello Series will remain on the platform until the platform ceases to exist: thousands of fearless Ukrainian women have yet to share their stories. And I am here to let all you know someone is always listening (not in NSA kinda way - in Oprah way). 

I will continue to write about Nashville, about my life here, about the things that don’t make sense or make too much sense. But I am going to do it as me. Alisa Kaiser. 

With every single post and every single picture I take, I hope dearly to open something new to you. I know this year won’t be an exception. I will continue to write about the things I know and the things I have yet to discover. Like, how to get a different domain and move everything blog-related in cyberspace or how to do basic html. How to design a logo, business cards, weird merch, etc. I have fun making this platform better, more user friendly, and more inviting for both you and I to stay, to read, to share, and to laugh. 

So here is to 2018. Let this year bring inspiration and people who still click on advertising. But again, those are just add ons - I am genuinely glad you are here.

The Culture of Weddings: Ukraine vs. USA

@chelseajanedakota

I never wanted a ‘traditional’ wedding - I never fantasized about it nor created scrapbooks of the perfect event. I knew I wanted to have a partner to share my life with by my side but I didn't care what will the ‘send off’ looked like.

In most American movies I got used to seeing church weddings and funny priests, flower decor and beautiful dresses, but even without using my degree I could see through the Hollywood smokescreen. Americans kept telling me that weddings are an industry and I could potentially understand it but I don’t think I fully grasped this until I faced the industry head on.

Everyone gets married in a registry office in Ukraine. In the last couple of years outdoor ceremonies have been gaining popularity but they still have years of development and perfection to go. A registry office is usually a rather depressing place with tacky decor, and a woman who has been marrying people all day and is sick and tired of her well-rehearsed speech, polished over the years. Couples come in, she delivers her speech, they sign the book of registration (that’s a thing) - their maid-of-honor and best man sign it as witnesses, they turn around, and they go and drink.

Rather simple, right? Wrong. Here are 5 things that are messed up with the way Ukrainians do weddings:

1. You do not know the person officiating the wedding. Most likely you will be seeing that woman for the first (and the last) time in your life. A stranger is responsible for giving your marriage boat that push off the shore.

2. You can’t put your own spin on the decor of the registry office, therefore, you and thousands of couples after you will have the exact same pictures inside the cheap and old interior of the happiest place in your marriage.

3. The officiator’s speech is always the same. Yes, she is wishing happiness to you and a couple after you. Does she care about your name or your story? Doubt it.

4. Since it is registry office job to marry couples - they get tired and cranky too. So, do not be surprised if someone yells at you on your wedding day.

5. If you come from a religious background you still have to get married in the registry office and only after have a ceremony at your place of worship.

After the official part, everyone goes to a reception that is usually held in a restaurant and gets trashed. But this is common for most cultures. What makes Ukraine stand out is that a lot of receptions have a specifically hired person whose job it is to come up with entertainment. No joke: this person is playing MC and an event manager, and is dealing with everything else on the fly. This person is called тамада (~toastmaster). There is not really an accurate translation for this person’s job but rest assured: it is hard hard work. Fun games are involved (sometimes inappropriate games too). All of this fun is supposed to not only entertain but bring two families and all the friends invited together. And that’s kinda beautiful, isn’t it?

There are a lot of traditions involved - some are mostly to entertain, some people really do believe in. For example, the toastmaster (тамада) is collecting money throughout the whole wedding. One jar is for the girl one jar is for the boy (future kids, that is). At the end of the night the money is counted and if one gender has more money in the jar than the other - that will be the sex of the couple’s first child.

Here is another one for you: right after the ceremony the mothers of the couple lay down a рушник at the feet of their children (~embroidered towel from the generations before). It used to be that a mother of the bride was supposed to embroider it herself - now you can just purchase one. The couple turns around and steps on the рушник. Whoever made the first step (either a bride or a groom) will then be the ‘head of the house’. Sorry y’all - equality wasn’t invited to the ceremony.

Weddings rarely last a day. Back in the day it was three days or even more - now it is just two days or so. During the second day the parents and ‘older’ folks are usually not present. The second day is limited to hangover cures and binge eating leftover food. And trust me when I say: the second day is the best.

I haven’t been living in Ukraine for awhile but I know things are changing. Changing for the better! More and more couples now seek originality and isn’t it great? I am sure my knowledge and experience with Ukrainian weddings is getting more and more outdated with every single word I type.

Best gift to give to Ukrainian newlyweds? Money.

@chelseajanedakota

Now, let us glance at the USA. I’ve been to quite a few weddings here in the US and feel like I have a harder ground to stand on when it comes to wedding structures. No two weddings were the same, of course.

Here is a step-by-step of a wedding timeline as seen from the point of a friend/invitee:

1. Couple decides to get married, gets engaged, the whole world celebrates with them. There is an engagement party you are invited to cause everyone just wants to share the bits and pieces of their happiness. You bring a small gift to celebrate.

2. You get a Save the Date with the day of the wedding. You get a link or a place where the couple is registered (aka, listed all of the gifts they need/want to receive for their wedding).

3. Couple sets the date, all is going according to the plan, you are getting invited to the Bridal Shower. You are bringing gifts to the bride-to-be and drink and have a good time.

4. If you are close - you are invited to a Bachelorette/Bachelor party. Could be something low-key on the spot or a destination one (Nashville is a hot place for Bachelor/Bachelorette parties right now). You bring a gift. In case this is a destination party - you pay for the ticket/gas/outfits/chip in for airbnb or hotel/spend money on drinks and entertainment as well as bring a gift.

5. Wedding invitation arrives in the mail. You now know where to be and at what time.

6. If you are in a Wedding Party: this is the time where you freak out cause you need to pay for a dress/tux and get it fitted and all that jazz.

7. The Wedding Shower. Yep, usually happens few weeks before the actual day of the wedding. You bring gifts from the registry and celebrate the upcoming wedding.

8. Rehearsal dinner. You come, you eat, you rehearse for the next day.

9. THE WEDDING DAY. You come, you eat, you have fun. And you bring gifts.

So, in short: I don’t know why some couples choose to go through this ‘cause let me honest here - it all sounds painful and oh so expensive. A wedding photographer alone will cost you about $3000.

The ceremonies are usually very pretty. No matter if they are held at a church or at the venue - I honestly enjoyed them all. A minister a couple knows or more often a friend of the couple ends up holding the ceremony which makes the occasion and scene very home-like. A catered meal, dancing, and getting trashed is on the menu after the ceremony. Throwing of the bouquet is a thing as well as father-daughter/son-mother dances. It is all very very cute. No entertainer (well, a band or DJ), so a little slow after the dinner for my Ukrainian soul.

Now, all of this is a more ‘traditional’ way to have a wedding in the US. It costs a lot for both guests and the newlyweds but it is hella pretty and memorable. Clearly, I am not a traditional kinda girl and am so lucky to be married to not-so traditional guy.

Best gift to give to American newlyweds: stuff from the registry. Stick to the list. Always, stick to the list.

I LOVED my own wedding. And I hope every single couple that gets married feels empowered to say the same after years of marriage. No matter how much money they spent or who hit whom in a drunk debacle.

@ryangreen